Tulisa admits to X Factor fears X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos says she is still dogged by fears she does not 'belong' on the show X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos says she is still dogged by fears she does not "belong" on the show after her troubled childhood. X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos says she is still dogged by fears she does not "belong" on the show after her troubled childhood. She said she is still overcome by doubts following her teenage years in which she attempted suicide, self-harmed and was a regular dope smoker. The star told the Radio Times she has her moments of self-doubt "now and again". Tulisa joined the show this year as the judging panel underwent a revamp. But reflecting on her role, she said: "I'll think, 'I don't belong here.' "I get those moments now and again. Although I can be very feisty, that's a defence mechanism for me. I'm defensive because too many years of my life I wa...