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This Knife Stabs and Then Explodes What It Stabbed

The deadliest knife ever made, ever. You  could  just stab someone regular style, but what if I told you there was another way? A way that involved exploding them while stabbing them? Yes, I will most certainly go on. The WASP knife is intended for divers who need to defend themselves against shark attacks (yes, it gets even more awesome) by  Jaws -caliber sharks who aren't put off by simple stabbing.  You see, fellow violence-crazed individual, the WASP knife, upon stabbing, injects the victim with a basketball-sized, freezing ball of compressed gas that instantly splodes them from the inside out--but not before freezing their internal organs. It's so fast that if you stabbed a Great White with one of these, the blood wouldn't even hit the water before the inflated shark rose to the surface. The sickest thing? You can just buy these online. Yep. No special license or anything. Knife Center has them for $399.95 each. Please don't use them on actual living c...

NPC Characters

In our quietest hours, these are the companions we promise God we will attend church every weekend for if only he will make them come to life. Epona (Legend of Zelda series) I’ve been afraid of horses since I was a little girl, when the pony I was riding ran under a pine tree. I went through it, giving me significant Christmas sores and permanent equine trauma. I might be convinced to saddle up on Epona, Link’s lady horse in the Legend of Zelda series. She is easily the best horse in all of gamedom, handily besting Shadow of the Colossus’ Agro. Dog (Fable series) He’s not the first video game dog sidekick. Way back in NetHack, for example, we had a canine companion, represented by a sensible lower-case d. Your dog in the Fable series just takes it to a new level. He’ll fight for you, help you pick up ladies, and perform all manner of trickery at the whim of a button press. If he were to come alive and need a home, he could probably make up for what my ten pound Schnoodle lacks, as the ...